Love At First Sight?

Possibly Possible?

This post caught your eye huh?  Well good because it definitely should have.  Love at first sight is a thing of Hollywood and never happens.  Now before the arrows come flying from extremists that believe they "fell" in love with their bf, gf or whatever else, therefore anyone else can achieve the same thing; understand that I believe in "love at first sight", but I call it something different...

Constantly Remembering The Moment

Simply put, love at first sight originates from the moment that two people first meet.  Think about it logically for just a second.  In the movies love at first sight is described in a variety of ways, but all are rooted in one things: the boy and girl are unable to get the other out of their mind, no matter what they try to do.  So what happens is this constant remembering of the person or the moment is what leads to repeated imagining, the person then associates the images to happiness, and happiness is the origin of love.

Now don't go saying, "Jason doesn't believe in love" or "love is all a mind game", because neither of those are true.  I just believe that in life, certain people we fall deeper for because all the moments we are with them are memorable enough to cause us to constantly remember each one and this leads to our emotions molding to include this person in our life.  

Now You Ask, So What?

Well you have to understand that you have control over your moment between you and someone you haven't met yet or are trying to be around more.  It truly all comes from the inside of you and if prepared for appropriately, I promise that sooner then later, your moment will happen!  I have compiled a simple list for my male readers because honestly they need the most help.  Now girls, don't laugh because your turn will be coming soon on another post.  But what I do want is for you to comment and let the boys know any pointers you have for them to be successful in the steps below, thanks!

OK Men, Take Notes

Here is a brief list in a few ways you can have your moment sooner then later:

• Practice
• Practice makes perfect guys, it's that simple.  Now this doesn't mean you go to every girl you meet and expect that will be the moment, but you can practice the following steps.  So yes, this step is just another reminder for you to do the things below and implement them into your daily life.
• Look Sharp
• Face it, looks do mean something in relationships and creating the moment.  Looks should never be the base of your relationship (girls that goes for you too), but it sure helps!
• I've said it before and will say it again, take time in putting yourself together because bumming around in sweats and a hoodie only go so far.  Women eventually want to see a man they can be proud of and would love to be arm candy to, so take time in preparing to go out...every....single...time.  You never know if the next time you step outside your house, your moment could possibly happen.
• Last note.  Ever had a moment you saw a girl and she was wearing a nicely fitted baby doll dress or a pair of perfectly curve hugging jeans?  Exactly, I know you have.  Well guess what, women have the same kind of memories.  Be that guy they remember and look sharp.
• Stand Up Straight
• This one is so obvious, yet I see it missing in so many mens lives.  Standing up straight is one of the easiest ways to show a woman two things: confidence and your physique.
• Confidence is the sexiest thing a man can possess.  It tells the girl you that you are comfortable with who you are, and if this is true, it only opens the door for her to be herself around you in return.  And when two people are truly themselves around one another is when love can begin to root itself deep within their hearts.
• Physique is crucial.  Now physique doesn't necessarily have to mean your body is ripped and a gift to the female gender.  It purely gives the girl a true vision of what you have to offer.  This may be tough for some of you because you currently are not at the fitness you want to be, but if a girl sees your physique now and likes it, she will only like it more after you achieve all your physical goals.
• Vary Your Tone
• Ever talked to a robot talker, a mumbler, a whisperer, or anything else similar?  Well if you have, you know that it sucks.  It sucks during the whole conversation because while you are trying to pay attention to what they are saying, you can't stop thinking, "her voice is SOOO weird".
• Understand gentlemen that women want to listen to what you are saying and want to follow your conversation, but if you are talking with a robot voice or whispering they will lose that interest very fast.
• So practice talking clearly, using tone variation and also facial expressions.  You don't only want them to know what you're saying, but to constantly remember it.
• Master The Pause
• This step is a simple reminder for you to let her talk and express herself during your interaction together.  Nobody enjoys talking to a wall or someone so into themselves they feel like they don't exist.  Make sure to involve her in your conversation and hopefully flirtations.
• It is during that slight moment of silence or brief moment where smiles are exchanged that memories become memorable.  You can quote me on that.
• Look Her In The Eyes
• I once had a dog that every time I would come home he would perk his head up, run to me, then stare me right in the eyes.  It didn't matter what mood I was in, every time I looked into his eyes they seemed to tell me the exact thing I needed to hear.  Eyes are the pathway to the soul, they can express love, concern, doubt, happiness, sadness and thousands more...so why not have yours in this moment express how you feel about her and anything else that is good or positive.

The Gran Finale

The above are some great steps to start your journey off on making your moment happen, but there is one last thing you need to do.  Physical Touch.  You have given her something to visually remember (Look Sharp), another to audibly remember (Vary Your Tone) and now its time to give her something to physically remember (Physical Touch).

This doesn't have to be anything intense but also not so subtle its unmemorable.  So find an opportune moment to graze her elbow, touch her shoulder, brush her hair out of her face or briefly hold her hand.  I promise you, if you have done the above things correctly, a properly (not creeper status) handle physical touch moment will seal the deal!

PS...

Moments are great and hopefully yours will become one that she constantly remembers and cherishes. But remember that love is something that cannot be forced upon another.  You can do everything in your power to make the moment all it should be, but it is up to her and the conditions to fall for you.  Nothing in the battle to find love is guaranteed, so while you journey down your path from single to taken, just try your best and the more you practice...the sooner you truly will fall in love at first sight by providing a moment that is constantly remembered!

Lets all find someone and grow old with them, all from our individual moments.

Cuddle Buddies

Winter Is The Time

The winter is once again gracing us with its beauty, but along with the beauty come the cold.  This time of year always seems to bring certain emotions or feelings to everyone it affects: potential sadness, laziness, and other seemingly "downer" emotions.  But along with these unproductive emotions that winter brings with its cold touch, it also delivers a phenomenon of the "cuddle buddy".

If you have experienced the cuddle buddy phenomenon, then you know how great it is.  But there are a few who have witnessed a cuddle buddy relationship go sour and thats what today's post is all about: mastering the cuddle buddy relationship.

Pros/Cons

Like all things in relationships (kissing, DTR's, NCMO's, etc etc) you first need to weight the pros and cons to either doing something or not.  So lets make a quick, but not all inclusive, breakdown of the cuddle buddy in pros and cons.

PROS

• Touch
• Its a fact, physical touch can be extremely beneficial to your happiness
• Warmth
• Winter can drop to sub zero temperatures and your body needs to stay at a healthy 98.6 degrees...so it simple math...to compete with the cold temperatures, you HAVE to cuddle with someone to keep your body temp up
• Companionship
• To feel needed is to feel complete, its as easy as 1+1

CONS

• Mixed signals
• When any person has a physical interaction with another, it is very easy for one of the two involved to be misled that the physical interaction meant more then what it really was
• Wasted time
• When you have a cuddle buddy, all the time you are rocking the cuddle action, could be time you are missing in finding a boyfriend/girlfriend
• Boundaries
• Once into the full horizontal cuddle position, be careful!  This could easily lead into something more, and your standards are the only thing you have that keeps you safe

Cuddle Buddy Qualifications

So you've read the pros and cons and the decision has been made that it's your time to be a cuddle buddy.  Well thats good, but in your decision you have to understand that becoming a good cuddle buddy is way more important then choosing one.  If you are either looking for one or are one already, here's a list of good cuddle buddy attributes:

• Physical Attraction
• Girls - Remember that one of the best things about cuddling for you is the feeling of being small and protected in a man's arms.  So find someone who can do that for you, there isn't anything more awkward then a girl trying to cuddle with a guy smaller then her.
• Boys - choose a girl who you are attracted to, but more importantly someone you can laugh with because cuddling only is as good as the interactions that happen between the two of you.
• Skills to pay the bills
• You have to have good cuddling skills.  Too many times I will be chatting with someone and I'll ask them if they are a good cuddler and their response is, "I don't know".  If you don't know if you are a good cuddler or not, that means you probably aren't good and need to brush up on your skills:
• Interactive cuddling - This is a common thing to do; when cuddling make it a point to tickle your partners arms, belly and possibly neck.  By making things interactive, your cuddling will be fun, rather then two stiff boards just sitting there.
• Smell good - You might ask if this is a skill, well until everyone does it (which definitely is not true), it remains a skill.  Make sure to have your hair smell good girls it drives us men wild.  And guys be positive that your breathe smells fresh and you have showered that day!
• Flirt - Cuddling is an interaction of emotions just as much as an interaction of physical touch.  So make it fun by making it enjoyable through flirtatious comments and invigorating expressions of care.
• Desire
• Simply put, make sure the cuddle buddy you are pursuing wants to be your cuddle buddy.  You can't imagine how many people try to be a cuddle buddy with someone, but the other does not want to at all.  Be safe when choosing and just double check that they too want to cuddle the winter coldness away...with you.
• Priority
• Lastly make sure that you and your cuddle buddy have prioritized the actual cuddle buddy relationship the same.  Only problems will derive from a relationship in which one has it priority one and the other has it at the bottom of the list.

The Last Word

I by no ways am supporting the cuddle buddy phenomenon as a method in going From Single to Taken. This form of relationship only provides short term happiness, not the long term kind I am looking for or trying to help you find.  But you know what, even though it won't get you into a solid long term relationship...it is a good practice for when the right one does come along.  So lets bundle up and practice all night long!

This is not the best cuddle picture out there, but would this be fun on a long flight.

The Friend Zone

The Skinny

Mostly likely you have been there before at least once, the dreaded friend zone.  This zone is a place that no one should ever want to be in, a place that hearts are broken and a place that very few ever get out of.  And for those exact reasons, we are going to learn how we can get out of the friend zone and go from single to taken.

Definition of the Friend Zone

The friend zone contains the two "O" parties: the obsessed one and the oblivious one.  

The obsessed person - is deeply in love with the other.  They constantly think about the oblivious one, continuously trying to figure out ways to be around them, ways to interact with them and ways to have them like them more then as a friend.

The oblivious one - only thinks of the other as a good friend.  They never respond to text from the obsessed one, always seem to hang out with everyone else but the obsessed one, talks about dates and other interests to the obsessed person and is perfect in the eyes of the other.

Together they interact very well and enjoy one another's company, but only as friends, not as anything else.  This is the friend zone.

How to GET OUT

In order to get out of the dreaded friend zone for all of us "obsessors", the path is a rough one because it calls for us to be bold which is not an easy thing to do sometimes.  So here are the steps to get out:

• Decide whether the person you are obsessed with is even worth it
• A lot of times we get so caught up in our emotions and primary assumption of a person, that our eyes become jaded.  When this happens, you must ask a another party to help you assess the situation.  Ask them if the person you are in the friend zone with really is so "amazing, beautiful, and perfect".  Beware though, the answer you receive might not be the one you want to hear, so choose wisely the person you ask for help, someone you absolutely trust!  If the person really is worth it, move onto the next step...
• Do your homework
• Find out what your friend zone person likes and dislikes.  If they are single or taken.  If they are even looking to date or not.  Or anything else that be pertinent to the situation.  Do these things because the last thing you want to to do is eventually express your emotions to someone who is already taken or is taking a break from dating.  Waiting for the optimal time to talk to them is crucial, so do your homework first.  Once your homework is done, prepare yourself for the next hurdle...
• Plan your attack
• You know the person is worth it and you have done your homework, now its time to plan out how you are going to let the person know that you want to get out of the friend zone with them.  This is a crucial step, you have to think and ponder on what method would be best when you let them know how you feel.  You have a variety of things you can do:
• Plan some one on one time (nothing too intense, a hang out session would do)
• Call them (this is straight forward, but lacks facial expressions, which are huge when communicating and understanding their true thoughts)
• Use a third party (this will not achieve anything at all)
• Obviously there is a good, ok and worst out of these three options.  If you cannot find out which one is which, just know, the more face to face interaction you have when you tell the person, the better.  So plan your attack, then get ready for the scary part...
• Jump on it
• You have planned your attack, now it is time to get froggy and jump!  Pump up your confidence any way necessary and actually carry out whatever plan you have come up with in telling the person how you feel.  This is extremely scary and gutsy, but it is THE ONLY way you can get out of the Friend Zone...THE ONLY way!!  
• This is true because if you never verbalize your thoughts with them, then your thoughts and feelings can never materialize and become reality.  And if that never happens, then you will be in an eternal state of obsession and sadness while being in the friend zone!
• While telling them your feelings, remember to be clear and concise.  Do not leave any area for misinterpretation while explaining, but also do not become overbearing.  It is important to let them know how you feel, but to also allows them to have agency, this is our next step...
• Leave them alone
• Remember that you have now made it clear to them how you feel, so there is nothing else to do.  They know how you feel and what you want, you should feel relaxed and calm because all the questioning and wanting them to know how you feel is over.  So give them time to process what you have told them and remember that in the end, they have their agency to do whatever they want with what you shared with them.
• They may love what you say or become scared, just know that no matter what happens...being completely honest and clear with them no matter what, is better then being in the friend zone.
• Lastly...
• Move on
• It is important to gain closure once coming out of the friend zone and that is achieved by following the above steps.  But remember to move on from the situation.
• It is extremely important to move on to the next one.  Being stuck on the past friend zone experience rather then letting it go, will only drag you down if you do that.  So learn from your past experiences and prepare yourself for your next crush and do whats necessary to avoid the friend zone with them!

Wrap Up

Just like in the movie, Just Friends, being in the friend zone sucks and you can never really be happy until you are open and honest with the other person.  And that will only be achieved if you do the steps we talked about above.  So if you are the Obsessed one or the Oblivious one, get out of the Friend Zone and stay out!

Dating Tip #139

Winter Formal

So it once again is getting to that time of year, the winter season is upon us.  Now mind you, I don't really enjoy the cold weather, the sketchy roads, or wet shoes that comes with winter.  But, I do love snowboarding, cuddling, and especially layering my clothes!

That's right, winter is the best time of year to show the world your fashion prowess almost everyday of the week, day or night, sleet or snow, it doesn't matter.  Through proper layering of clothes, you can transform yourself from boring and bland to elaborate and memorable, with just a few reminders when getting dressed.

The Reminders

1. Ideal outfit should consists of 5 things: a clean & simple pair of winter shoes (boots for women, leather shoes for men), a dark washed pair of jeans, a solid color collared shirt, a flattering winter jacket (bomber jackets are very flattering and fashionable), and a scarf or beanie to seal the deal.
2. Make sure to plan ahead and make sure your outfit is still put together under your jacket because once inside, your jacket will come off.
3. Always color coordinate your accessories.  Don't be that person who has 50 different colors on their outfit from their feet to their head.
4. Find a unique article of clothing that describes your personality and make it a point to express why you like when with company.  Clothing is one of the easiest ways to start up conversation.

In Closing

It does cost a little bit of extra money to buy clothing that you can layer that flatters your physique and matches your personality, but it is well worth it.  So go out and buy a few things for your winter wardrobe and meet me on the street because I want to watch everyone around you start "bird dogging*" you.

 *Bird Dogging - A term originated in the early 40's to describe the action of someone checking another person out; like a bird observing its surroundings and a dog with its tongue out when it sees something it likes.

Dating Tales from Lason Lau

So I have a friend and his name is Lason Lau.  This guy has been on a lot of dates and has learned a ton of good and bad things along this trail.  I was talking to him the other day and asked him if I could share of his dating stories in my blog,he happily agreed.  So here begins a new portion of this blog called, Dating Tales from Lason Lau.

The following tale is called, "Girl In The Green Heels".

About a year ago Lason was at a social gathering with hundreds of singles, at this event he would learned a valuable lesson on confidence...

While talking with a group of friends, he noticed a tall, slender brunette walking across the parking lot.  What had originally caught his eyes were the heels this girl was wearing(PS, men love a girl who can rock heels like a champ!).  The heels were light green and seemed to match the smooth contours of her legs perfectly (PSS, a girl who compliments her legs and outfit with a nice pair of heels, displays a clear sign to men that she is well put together and takes time when getting ready to go out, both are VERY good things).

As she walked past his line of sight with her friend, she began to laugh and as she laughed, she tripped over an unseen bump in her path.  Lason was shocked, as he seemed to be the only one witnessing this tragic event take place.  But just as his heart began to sink in expectations of her falling and crashing to the ground, she did one of the most graceful recoveries ever in the history of tripping.  But this amazing save was not what impressed him the most...

Directly after tripping and almost falling in front of easily 200 people, this girl looked at her friend and began to laugh.  Her laugh wasn't one of those laughs that happens when you are trying to cover up your embarrassment, it was a real laugh because of what had happened.  This display of confidence astonished Lason and caused him to become attracted to this girl instantly.

Long story short, he found this girl later during event and made it a point to meet her.  They eventually went out on some dates, flirted, and even kissed a little bit.  None of this would have happened if this girl did not display the confidence that she had, so girls, take note and remember...

TO BE CONFIDENT IN ALL OCCASIONS

Girls, remember that men absolutely love who you are, how you look, smell and feel.  So don't stress over the small things like: a bad hair cut, spilling your drink on a date, snorting while laughing, or even tripping in front of 200 people in your heels.  So if you display a positive confidence, not self centeredness, we men will not notice these possibly embarrassing moments and for sure won't remember them either.

So go out, buy some sexy heels, and find a guy to strut your stuff in front of.  And before you know it, you'll have the man you have your eyes on; not only watching your every move, but more importantly finding time to take you out!

The 10 S's To A First Date

My Dating Street Cred

Before I go ahead with my quick lesson on first dates, let me give you my street cred because it is simple: "those who can't, teach".  I have been dating for quite some years now and surprising enough, I have been single for a majority of those years.  Even after hundreds of first dates, three first kisses, and lots of flirtatious adventures; I am still single.  So currently I feel that I "can't", so now, I must "teach".
Enjoy.

A Few Dating Falsehoods
Dating is not worth the effort.  Dating is not for those looking for friends.  Dating is not worth the time.  Dating is not worth the money.  Dating is not your "style".  Dating is not for you.

Now A Few Dating Truths
All of the things above, minus the "nots".

Dating Success or Failure
Your failure or success solely relies on your ability to impress your date.  Now this is a difficult thing to do, especially if your date has minimal relationship interest in you; but it is possible.  I feel that along my dating journeys I have learned a lot of things.  What to do or what not to do, what to say or what not to say, etc.  Below you will find something I have developed as the "10 S's" of a first date.  Although these are just a few simple suggestions, I feel that they are the key elements to either continue to have successful dates or to change your luck from failure to joyful success.

The 10 S's

• Say "yes" - It's simple, if you are asked on a date, say "yes".  It is difficult and often scary for a guy to ask a girl out or visa versa (even more so for the girl).  Even if you do not have interest in this person, you should at least agree to going out for a fun time on the town.  The only times you should decline a first date are: the guy/girl is a true creeper, you are currently in a relationship or you have a legitimate schedule conflict.
• Smell Good - We live in a time that showering is a standard, so do it.  Showering is a clear way to be clean, but there are other efforts that can be made to smell your best.
• Girls - Trust me, we as men absolutely love the the scent of a woman.  It arouses our senses, can cause goosebumps, and makes us find you even more attractive.  Now there are extremes to this: you can smell like a dirty pig or you can smell like a tornado full of perfumes, hairspray, lotions, and body spray all mixed into one.  So find a happy median and please our sense of smell with a balanced womanly scent.
• Boys - Gentlemen, the woman you are going on the date with most likely is far more beautiful a creature then you, so the least you can do is smell good.  Make sure your breathe is minty fresh, wear deodorant, have just enough cologne that it is noticeable, and you wear clean clothes.  If you do all these things, they will ultimately draw her closely to you, not push her away.  I know these seem to be "norms" but trust me, there are some men who DO NOT get the idea of smelling good.  So take notes and ALWAYS smell your best.
• Style and Fashion - Now your wardrobe will tell your date with a lot about who you are: if you put too much time into getting ready or not enough, if you are modest or not, if you care about the actual date or not, and what kind of personality you have (the most important).
• Girls - Dress appropriate to the situation (hopefully you know what your date will consist of), do not go over dressed and come across high maintenance, that is never a good thing.  Wear something that is flattering to your figure.  It's a first date, your ultimate goal should be to look "cute and fun", save the fancy and sexy outfits for later.  Men love surprises.
• Boys - Don't be a chode and show up to the date trying to be someone you're not (see "Renaissance Man" post).  I feel the biggest thing for a guy to do on a first date is to look like a respectful, trustworthy and handsome individual.  Remember, this is your first date, so gain her trust and confidence in you by wearing appropriate attire.  Don't scare her off with a poser outfit like K Fed did and does.
• Sacrifice Your Time - Give the person who asked you out the time of day, literally.  If you get asked out and have said yes, make sure you are on time for the date.
• Girls - Be on time!  Brad Paisley wrote a song, "Waitin' On A Woman".  Although this is one of my favorite country songs; not many men will fall in love with you if you are late for the date, unlike what the song says.  So simply be on time and we will appreciate that forever.
• Boys - Want to know the quickest way you can start a date off on the wrong foot?  Be late to picking her up.  If you ask her out and set the time for 8:00 PM, be there 5 minutes early and ready to go.  Even if she is not quite ready yet, understand that if you are on time you are sending her the message that she is worth being early for.  That's a good thing.
• Smile - A smile is worth a thousand words.  This is so true.  While on the date a smile can tell your date that you are having fun, can sympathize for failed plans, bring laughter to the conversation and simply tell them you are enjoying your company.  By smiling throughout the date, you can truly make your smile worth a thousand words.
• Sell Yourself - So I had a friend who recently bought an electronic device.  Upon receiving this piece of electronics, he quickly realized that the value he thought he was getting, was way lower then what he perceived.  This example serves as a reminder that you can either sell yourself way up and gain the attention of your date or possibly undersell yourself and lose their interest.
• Now understand that sadly there are some people (usually guys) who are very good at selling themselves, we call these guys "smooth" talkers.  So beware of the things you hear while on a date and watch for warning signs, this way you don't get played.  Just remember it is like buying a car: you can get a great deal or you can end up with a lemon.
• Speak Up - In this world, you either are a talker or not.  Neither being necessarily better then other, but both have to remember certain things to have a successful date.
• Talkers - Yes, you have a lot to talk about and most likely have an opinion on everything, but it does not mean that others want to talk or hear your opinions.  So while on a date, remember to give your date just as much talking time to share their thoughts, ideas, stories or feelings.  Just an FYI, if you are a real talker, when you think you are giving them enough time to talk, you're not.  So give them more time (I know from personal experience).
• Non Talkers - You are loved for your easygoing-ness and your insightful thoughts in conversations.  But on a date, stretch yourself.  Speak up and give your date a good conversation, this will help them get to know you.  Now if you find yourself thinking that your date is quiet, there is a strong chance that they are quiet because you are not talking enough.  Speak up and give more then three word answers.
• Support Your Date - Planning and carrying out a date is a tough thing to do sometimes, especially when externalities to the situation occur: bad weather, car problems, embarrassing moments, and much more.  So while on your date, make sure to support your date no matter what happens.  Two things will happen if you do this: you will have more fun on the date and your date will gain confidence better company.  Just remember, the first date is supposed to be fun and stress free, so make sure you're doing both of those, by supporting them (even if the activity, person, or circumstance is not the ideal).
• Send Signals - So your date is nearing a close and you have had a good time along with good conversations, now what?  Well start the process of sending your date signals.  It is the responsibility of both people to send signals to the other on how they feel the date went.  This is crucial because through proper signals a future date can be planned, a polite thank you and good night can occur, possibly a goodnight kiss, but no matter what the signal is...give it.  Here is a quick list of signals and their meanings:
• Physical Touch - This constitutes as flirting, it either means you want to get down or you are feeling a connection.  So be careful and clear with which of the two you want.
• Texting On The Date - You are telling your date that you are not interested in them at all and are having zero fun (this should never happen, but sadly it does).
• Lengthy Eye Contact - You are truly interested in what your date is saying and are enjoying your time with them.
• Verbal Affirmations - By letting your date know how you feel is the clearest way to send a signal.  So don't be shy, let them know how you feel.  Being on the same page is key.
• Solicit (ask for) - Think about the movie "50 First Dates", in this movie Adam Sandler has fallen for Drew Barrymorre (who does not have the ability to remember anything from the day before because of a car accident).  Sandler is forced daily to "re-meet" Barrymorre and sweep her off her feet each time, this proves to be a tedious and difficult task.  Sometimes dating can be like this, especially after a first date.  So here are a few ways that you can help your date in his or her efforts in keeping your attention:
• Text - By sending a text, you let your date know if a non intrusive way that you had fun, ultimately leaving it up to them to take you out again or not.
• Call - Calling is a little more serious then a text and is a friendly yet blunt way to tell them exactly what you think.
• Kiss - This pretty much seals the deal, but should never be used (unless you want to).

2nd Date

In closing, these things above are only there to hopefully help those "who can't" be able to eventually "do".  So take what you learned or could improve on, and go out on more dates and be successful in them!

PS...

If you know a female who is looking for a male, lets say someone like 6'4'', 245 lbs and brown...please refer them to me, I know a guy named Lason Lau and he is looking for someone to date!

The Renaissance Man

So I was sitting, well laying, in bed last night and could NOT sleep at all.  I for some reason could not get comfortable and had a weight on my chest.  I don't know if this was because of my extremely high wearwolf esk body heat, the fact I had work in less then four hours or something was on my mind.  Obviously it was a combination of all three (especially the first), but for blog purposes I'll share with you what was on my mind...

THE RENAISSANCE MAN

So over 5000 years ago, this term was developed during the Italian Renaissance to define what a man should strive to become.  In Latin the word for renaissance man is "homo universalis" or a person who is well educated or who excels in a wide variety of subjects or fields.  Leonardo da Vinci was one of the most well known Renaissance men of that time period.  As we all know, he is extremely famous for painting and sculpting, but not many know that he also was an architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist, and writer.  Not only did he do all these things, but as the definition says, he "excelled" in each of the fields as well.  But looks definitely were not on his side, as seen below.

The Renaissance Man of Today

Now that the definition is clear for all of us, I want to spend a little bit of time on what I feel could help make us (the male population) Renaissance Men in today's society.  Now I do not want to go into specifics of what we need to do (i.e. the list of abilities), but rather I want to go over a list of attributes I believe the RM of today would possess.  Now this list of attributes could go on for days and days, but I would like to narrow them down to four simple things.

THE LIST

• Obtain Attractiveness - I say obtain because lets face it, not every person is blessed with physical beauty at birth and thus has to work on it in order to to get it, hence the use of "obtain".  Now unfortunately we all can not be the Shemar Moores or Ryan Reynolds of the world, but you know what, you can at least do a few things to help your cause:

• Be physically fit.  Women don't necessarily want a man who can throw a football 60 yards or dunk a basketball like Lebron James, they want a man who takes care of his body because no girl wants to be with a lazy, fat, and unhealthy slob.
• Smell good.  I have always said, "women are easily way more attractive then men, so the least we can do is smell good".  Find a cologne that describes your personality and stick to it, once a girl associates you with a certain cologne, every time she smells it on campus, at work or on the street...thats right...she'll think of you.
• Dress to impress.  Be able to dress according to any situation you could find yourself in; anywhere from a tuxedo affair to just going to class.  Make it a point to have a wardrobe of clothing that flatters your physique and personal style for multiple situatons.  Don't ever wear brown shoes with a black suit just because you don't own black shoes, go out and buy a pair.  Don't wear a pair of beaten up old basketball shoes with a pair jeans, purchase a pair of casual dress shoes to enhance the cut of the jeans.  And lastly, don't be someone you're not.  Don't be fake and a sell out by only wearing things that are in style; because remember, at one point Ed Hardy was all the rage, now if you're seen wearing it, it only shows how big of a loser you are.

• Have A Custom Swagger - Just like the Old Spice Guy has a swagger so intense that he can say nothing but gibberish in his commercials and still have anyone watching him become automatically infatuated by what he says; you too can develop a custom swagger of your own.  Now understand that we all cannot be like the Old Spice Guy, but we can create swagger that is unique and one of a kind.  The key is to be yourself and then make your swagger desirable to those who interact with you.
• The perfect example is one of my best buddies Paul Wall.  When he and I first met, needless to say he was a nerd (not the textbook nerd, but the kind you could almost tell he is from Utah kind of nerd (sorry Paul)), but because of his swagger he caused me and hundreds of others who knew, know or will know him, fall in love with his "nerd-ness".  His swagger is one that exemplifies confidence and tact with a bunch of class.  Sadly to say, I cannot put into words what his swagger truly gives the world, just know that he is who he is and his swagger will cause you to like him no matter what.  And that can only be achieved with a "custom swagger".  Here's a little pic for the ladies, if you want to get to "know" Paul Wall, hit me up for his digits and I will gladly hook you up.

• Develop Hobbies - Do you want a woman that only looks good and knows how to talk?  If you answered "yes", then you are a weener (yes it is purposely spelt wrong), but if you answered "no", then congratulations you want the same as women: a partner that has more to offer then a warm body.  So develop hobbies that are both enriching and interesting.  Some of you already have great hobbies: knowing how to play a musical instrument, reading, blogging, playing sports and much more.  But to be a true Renaissance Man you must develop other hobbies that the average male does not possess.
• One such hobby that I love to do and has been proven to be a successful when finding a partner is, being a handyman.  All women enjoy a man who is good with his hands (that's what she said), when it comes to fixing things from cars and broken pipes to craftsmanship and woodwork.  Jeff Transtrum, a great friend of mine is a perfect example of this.  First, he is an amazing accountant, but by developing classy hobbies such as woodwork, he has transformed the definition of an accountant; from boring and bland to colorful and tasty.  He recently made a "door table" from an old door he found on the side of the road.  Needless to say it looks amazing and has a great rustic/vintage look and this hobby definitely helped score him an amazing wife.  So it is obvious to say, you should develop hobbies that are rare and interesting to become a real RM.

• Be Dashing - In Webster's Dictionary the following definition is given: "dashing - (of a man) Attractive in a romantic, adventurous way".  This defines perfectly what every woman wants, a man who is in touch with his emotions (romantic), but also has a wild/"bad boy" side (adventurous).  The prime example of dashing is obviously 007, one must watch a few of these movies to see how James Bond implements romance, friendship, adventure, emotion or laughter to assist him in being dashing with those of the opposite sex. 
• If you still are wondering how to be dashing, just make a constant effort to make every moment you have with a woman, a memorable one.  Now this does not mean one has to become elaborate with all that he does, but rather, he needs to ensure that his actions and words are ones that any woman would want to hear.
• WARNING - if you use this to be "smooth" or "fake", I personally guarantee you will fail in your efforts and will do quite the opposite of being dashing, which is...a D bag jerk (excuse my language).

CONCLUSION

There are many guys who try and be Renaissance Men, but only obtain epic failures.  In order to be a RM and succeed at it, understand that you must make it an individual thing.  Don't go copying other men, what truly made da Vinci a RM of his time, was not that he was like the rest, he rather he was different and original in all the things he did, from his art to his philosophies.  So be daring and creative, show all those around you that you are a Renaissance Man and that you truly do "exemplify a person who excels in a wide variety of subjects or fields, but in a unique and truly original way"!

Because if given the opportunity, every woman would take a Renaissance Man over a Joe Shmoe.


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