The Friend Zone

The Skinny

Mostly likely you have been there before at least once, the dreaded friend zone.  This zone is a place that no one should ever want to be in, a place that hearts are broken and a place that very few ever get out of.  And for those exact reasons, we are going to learn how we can get out of the friend zone and go from single to taken.

Definition of the Friend Zone

The friend zone contains the two "O" parties: the obsessed one and the oblivious one.  

The obsessed person - is deeply in love with the other.  They constantly think about the oblivious one, continuously trying to figure out ways to be around them, ways to interact with them and ways to have them like them more then as a friend.

The oblivious one - only thinks of the other as a good friend.  They never respond to text from the obsessed one, always seem to hang out with everyone else but the obsessed one, talks about dates and other interests to the obsessed person and is perfect in the eyes of the other.

Together they interact very well and enjoy one another's company, but only as friends, not as anything else.  This is the friend zone.

How to GET OUT

In order to get out of the dreaded friend zone for all of us "obsessors", the path is a rough one because it calls for us to be bold which is not an easy thing to do sometimes.  So here are the steps to get out:

• Decide whether the person you are obsessed with is even worth it
• A lot of times we get so caught up in our emotions and primary assumption of a person, that our eyes become jaded.  When this happens, you must ask a another party to help you assess the situation.  Ask them if the person you are in the friend zone with really is so "amazing, beautiful, and perfect".  Beware though, the answer you receive might not be the one you want to hear, so choose wisely the person you ask for help, someone you absolutely trust!  If the person really is worth it, move onto the next step...
• Do your homework
• Find out what your friend zone person likes and dislikes.  If they are single or taken.  If they are even looking to date or not.  Or anything else that be pertinent to the situation.  Do these things because the last thing you want to to do is eventually express your emotions to someone who is already taken or is taking a break from dating.  Waiting for the optimal time to talk to them is crucial, so do your homework first.  Once your homework is done, prepare yourself for the next hurdle...
• Plan your attack
• You know the person is worth it and you have done your homework, now its time to plan out how you are going to let the person know that you want to get out of the friend zone with them.  This is a crucial step, you have to think and ponder on what method would be best when you let them know how you feel.  You have a variety of things you can do:
• Plan some one on one time (nothing too intense, a hang out session would do)
• Call them (this is straight forward, but lacks facial expressions, which are huge when communicating and understanding their true thoughts)
• Use a third party (this will not achieve anything at all)
• Obviously there is a good, ok and worst out of these three options.  If you cannot find out which one is which, just know, the more face to face interaction you have when you tell the person, the better.  So plan your attack, then get ready for the scary part...
• Jump on it
• You have planned your attack, now it is time to get froggy and jump!  Pump up your confidence any way necessary and actually carry out whatever plan you have come up with in telling the person how you feel.  This is extremely scary and gutsy, but it is THE ONLY way you can get out of the Friend Zone...THE ONLY way!!  
• This is true because if you never verbalize your thoughts with them, then your thoughts and feelings can never materialize and become reality.  And if that never happens, then you will be in an eternal state of obsession and sadness while being in the friend zone!
• While telling them your feelings, remember to be clear and concise.  Do not leave any area for misinterpretation while explaining, but also do not become overbearing.  It is important to let them know how you feel, but to also allows them to have agency, this is our next step...
• Leave them alone
• Remember that you have now made it clear to them how you feel, so there is nothing else to do.  They know how you feel and what you want, you should feel relaxed and calm because all the questioning and wanting them to know how you feel is over.  So give them time to process what you have told them and remember that in the end, they have their agency to do whatever they want with what you shared with them.
• They may love what you say or become scared, just know that no matter what happens...being completely honest and clear with them no matter what, is better then being in the friend zone.
• Lastly...
• Move on
• It is important to gain closure once coming out of the friend zone and that is achieved by following the above steps.  But remember to move on from the situation.
• It is extremely important to move on to the next one.  Being stuck on the past friend zone experience rather then letting it go, will only drag you down if you do that.  So learn from your past experiences and prepare yourself for your next crush and do whats necessary to avoid the friend zone with them!

Wrap Up

Just like in the movie, Just Friends, being in the friend zone sucks and you can never really be happy until you are open and honest with the other person.  And that will only be achieved if you do the steps we talked about above.  So if you are the Obsessed one or the Oblivious one, get out of the Friend Zone and stay out!